


Sun Showers

by paladinofselune



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: F/F, First Kiss, Hurt/Comfort, Love Confessions, Requited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-22
Updated: 2020-08-22
Packaged: 2021-03-06 14:34:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,881
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26050462
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/paladinofselune/pseuds/paladinofselune
Summary: Jester is the kind of woman that finds joy in sun showers and someone Beau absolutely doesn't deserve- unless you asked Jester.
Relationships: Jester Lavorre/Beauregard Lionett
Comments: 2
Kudos: 85





	Sun Showers

**Author's Note:**

> Feeling like I'm getting into the groove of writing a little easier now...this one was a little personal, just because feeling inadequacy is something I'm quite good at, lol.

Beau watches her like she’s never seen anything more beautiful. From the doorway of an inn, she leans against the old framework, the wood digging into her shoulder uncomfortably. To anyone observing from the outside, the monk’s face was impassive, eyes lazily roving the courtyard of the inn’s grounds. But Beau was anything but calm in that moment. Her heart beat hard and loud in her ears and she had to keep reminding herself to breathe when her brain failed to keep up with the basic task.

Jester stood there in the warm sunshine, arms spread and face upturned to the sky. A few moments ago, a sun shower had started and the tiefling had squealed with joy, rushing outside into the gentle drizzle, dragging Beau behind her.

“It’s good luck to stand out in a sun shower!” Jester had said, tugging Beau halfway through the doorway before the monk had planted her feet firmly and given her a wry smile.

“No thanks Jes- I don’t really feel like getting wet,” She saw Jester’s falling expression and hastily added on, “But don’t let me stop you! Maybe you can soak in enough luck for the rest of us.” She grinned and Jester had returned her smile in full. That was when her heart decided to dance to it’s own rhythm. It hadn’t slowed since.

Some weird emotion was warring inside Beau as she continued to watch. Jester began to turn in quick circles, eyes closed and cheeks pink with joy. She couldn’t quite place it at first, but then she realized it was regret. She frowned, annoyed that it had intruded on an otherwise pleasant moment. But she knew why. How could she not regret the tiefling revolving in the rain before her. Maybe in another life, if she was another, better person it would’ve been different. She could’ve been someone to Jester, worthy of the woman who found joy in sun showers.

She felt something hot behind her eyes and she nearly scoffed with disbelief- was she crying? She scrubbed a hand roughly against her eyes, willing the deluge to stop before it even began. 

It wasn’t until Jester was in front of her, hair slightly damp with warm rain that she startled, nearly stepping back when Jester grabbed for her hands. She let the tiefling take them as Jester turned her best puppy-dog eyes on her and Beau knew whatever she was going to ask next, her resolve would fail and she would inevitably say yes. 

“Come on Beau, it’s so warm! Just come with me, for like, a minute? Please? Pleasepleaseplease-” Beau almost laughed as she let Jester actually drag her from the doorway this time, out into the courtyard. She was very aware Jester still held her hands tightly in hers, the warmth of her fingers burning not unpleasantly against her skin. The urge to bring one of them up to her lips was almost staggering but Beau stalled and quashed any thought of it, mentally grinding the heel of her metaphorical boot into the very idea of it. God, what was wrong with her?

If Jester noticed anything wrong with her, she didn’t show it. She gripped her hands tighter, swaying from side to side as she smiled gently, “Dance with me!”

Beau snorted, eyebrows raising, “I don’t dance Jes. What if people are watching in there?” She jerked her head back toward the inn, though no one was at the windows or in the now-empty door frame. 

It was Jester’s turn to snort as she pulled Beau a little closer. Beau’s heart leapt to her throat as Jester placed one of Beau’s hands to her hip while still holding the other in a slightly looser grip, “No one’s watching and even if they were, who cares? We’re just having fun. It’s not hurting anyone. We deserve it!” 

“I-I guess,” Beau muttered as Jester began to lead a slow waltz through the small garden in the courtyard. Beau felt her throat tighten as Jester looked up from beneath dewey eyelashes, a small smile tugging at her lips still. Her heart ached dully at the sight. She wanted to run- to get away from her- to ignore the swell of love that she felt utterly wrack her entire being. The rain still fell, Jester’s hair now weighed down by the water but Gods, she looked amazing. And here she was...what did she do to deserve Jester’s friendship? Despite the ache that still threatened to tear a sob from her, Beau decided that if Jester wanted fun, then she would give it to her. It was the least she could do.

She forced a grin, and suddenly dipped Jester deeply. As Jester whooped with delight, Beau found that she no longer had to force it- the happiness she felt was genuine. She pulled Jester back up, matching her steps with more fervor as she turned Jester around in a quick pirouette much to Jester’s joy. Jester fell back against Beau’s chest as she lost momentum, and Beau was almost afraid she would feel how fast her heart had sped up again, but Jester just looped her arms around Beau’s neck, grinning as she led the dance further into the courtyard. 

The dance continued wildly, punctuated with peals of laughter from Jester and the sound of her feet splashing through shallow puddles in the uneven cobblestone. By the end, the pair of them stood, hand in hand, breathing heavily and looking disheveled. 

“I told you it would be fun-” Jester chirped, but froze as she focused on Beau. Beau scrunched her face, wondering why Jester was staring at her in such horror when she realized- oh...She raised a hand and swept it across her cheeks, finding them wet with rain. Or...no, rather, her tears? Huh, when had she started crying? 

“Beau?” Jester ventured carefully, raising a hand toward Beau’s face but halting, so tantalizingly close, “Why are you crying? Did...did I do something wrong? I’m sorry if I pushed you into doing something you weren’t comfortable with.”

Beau’s heart broke at the misery that punctuated Jester’s apology. How dare she make Jester think this was because of her? No, this was Beau. This was all Beau, ruining a perfectly picturesque moment by fucking crying in the rain. 

“It’s...it’s not you Jes,” Beau said haltingly, willing the tears to stop but - Gods be damned- they still flowed unabated, “I just...I don’t deserve this. I don’t deserve to stand out here, dancing in the rain, pretending to deserve happiness. I don’t deserve to be loved and I definitely don’t deserve you.” She fought to put into words what she felt in her heart- that deep down, she was nothing. Someone Jester shouldn’t   
even give the time of day to, let alone spend her afternoon with. A failure, a delinquent runaway who couldn’t even face her own father, who couldn’t please her mother...who couldn’t even make herself happy.

Jester frowned, a look of concern etching across her features as she stared at Beau for a long second. Then she reached out, pulling the taller girl into a tight hug. Beau tensed but when Jester didn’t release her, she found herself leaning into the hug. She was only mildly embarrassed as the sobs that she had been holding back for long erupted from her as she cried there on Jester’s shoulder, her tears hot and contrasting the cooling rain. Jester just stood there, burying her face into Beau’s shoulder and rubbing small circles on her back. After a few moments of just letting Beau cry- she pulled her back and stared her in the eye, as if daring the girl to refute what she was about to say.

“Beauregard Lionett. I don’t want you to EVER say you’re not worth happiness or love again,” Her tone softened as Beau’s eyes flickered away from hers, “I know it’s hard...And I’m so sorry I didn’t see how sad you we’re before...I wouldn’t have pushed you to do this,” She gesticulated wildly around her, “I know you’ve been through a lot, but you have us. You have me. We all love you very, very much. I love you, very, very much.”

Beau grinned then, but there was no joy behind it. She wrestled away from Jester’s grip, taking a step back, “Well, yeah...that’s the problem. So do I.” 

It took a moment for Jester’s brain to catch up with Beau’s meaning. Of course Beau loved her too- wait... She met Beau’s eyes again and was floored by the depth of want and love she found there. Oh...that kind of love. A whole myriad of expressions must have played across her face then because Beau let out a sharp bark of pained laughter and turned to go but as she took another step, she found Jester’s hand, vice like around her arm. She turned back, a question forming on her lips that died as she saw Jester’s unsure expression harden into something...determined? Resolved?

“What…?”

“You know,” Jester said evenly enough, though she couldn’t keep the blush from creeping to her cheeks, “This would be the part in the novel where we’d kiss. Like, it’s always after the dramatic admission of love. It would be super romantic…” 

Beau felt her jaw drop, not daring to breathe as Jester hugged her tightly around her waist, pulling her close and closing the gap between them. She felt her stomach do some sort of weird flip flop as Jester, who was quite a few inches shorter, stood on tiptoes and kissed Beau so softly and sweetly, Beau thought her heart would crack into two. 

The feeling of Jester’s lips lingered on Beau’s even as she pulled back, cheeks aflame now, her mouth parted as if she hadn’t expected that of herself. Beau certainly hadn’t. 

“Sorry if that wasn’t good,” Jester said quickly, touching her own lips as she too couldn’t rid herself of the feeling, “I...I’m new at this, you know?” She giggled nervously, peeking up at Beau, “But...Beau. I love you, okay? I love being with you, even when it’s just sharing a bed at a crowded inn, or the way you laugh after you’ve had a few too many shots, or...when you go dancing with me in the rain.” She cracked a smile as she held a palm out. The rain was growing heavier and the once sunny sky was filling with dark clouds. In the distance, Beau could hear the first peals of thunder. 

But that didn’t matter, not really. She still stared dumbfounded at Jester who was still holding her, telling her that she loved her. It was more than she had dared to ever hope...She almost let out another strangled sob as Jester’s hand cupped her face as she reached up to kiss her again. This time, she squeezed Jester tighter into a hug, returning the kiss that made the other girl’s eyes flare wide for a moment, before sinking comfortably back in. 

Overhead the clouds roiled like angry things, threatening to bring a storm with it that would surely last through the night. But, that was okay, Beau thought. She could weather it with her own bit of sunshine.


End file.
